Bond
by thebaehood
Summary: This is a series of phan oneshots written by all of you! All you have to do is submit to me a fluffy phan prompt and I'll write it out for you guys in a full length chapter! Let's get started!
1. Introduction

IMPORTANT NOTICE BEFORE YOU READ:

For those that don't know, I'm writing a fanfiction called "Dead Aim Alchemist" (#shamelessspon #pleasereadititsgoodiswear). But, it's all extremely serious with like, no happy moments within the fic. So what's a better way to contrast that? That's right: some hardcore fluffy action with the most iconic YouTube ship.

 _Phan is my OTP okay don't judge me._

I was visiting my childhood friend (seriously we have known each other since we were in diapers), Lily, for her sixteenth birthday when she let me read some of her phanfiction, and so I became inspired by that. She also has a fanfiction account where she started to write fanfiction, and I highly recommend you guys go check her out! I've read some of her work before, and I really enjoyed it. She's known as SmolPuffPastry on here. Nothing is up yet, because she's learning how this website works, but she'll get uploading real soon. I dedicate this phanfic to her.

I'm going to be writing this a bit differently than normal. I'll be taking requests for each chapter! This is going to be a series of one-shots, unless if I say otherwise, so I'll happily be taking prompts from you guys! I can't wait to get started on this!

Thank you guys so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!

-Elena


	2. Chapter One: With a Comma After Dearest

WARNINGS FOR: Language and a brief mention of sex

This is my own idea that I had in mind, based on a headcannon someone submitted for 2012!Phan. So, I decided to apply it to a general term. Also, I already got a prompt for a chapter (granted they did say it would be good for chapter one but I'm pushing it to chapter two because I had already started this chapter before they gave me the prompt)! So I'll definitely be sure to get on that after this chapter. For the mood of this, I've been listening to "Amarillo" by the Gorillaz on repeat, so if that helps with setting up the tone then go for it. Thank you guys so much for reading! Enjoy!

-Elena

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **With a Comma after Dearest**

Dan had a small, private folder on his laptop containing documents of all the things he was too afraid to say. The notes were sorted out by year, each word file being one whole year's worth of words that never escaped his lips. The lyrics had travelled through his mind and down to his throat, flowing across his tongue only to be stopped by his teeth, never to exit his mouth – only for him to swallow the lines back down, never to be seen again.

All of these words were for Phil.

It drove him mad, really, having to hide so much from his best friend and yet at the same time remain so open with him. Well, now that he thought about it, he had very little to hide; and yet the secret he was keeping weighed down so heavily on him that it might as well be worth a million average secrets. The secret crushed his weak body, the one thing he was trying so hard to hide so hard had hurt him so much. It was the elephant in the room, so to speak. It was his Achilles Heel.

He was in love.

That's right. Daniel James Howell, a nobody, a college dropout from Wokingham, Berkshire, is in love with yet another person way out of his league. He was in love with Phil Lester. Who would have thought?

Oh, but he didn't dare to once mention the thought. For all he knew, telling Phil about his feelings could result in one of two options: the one that Dan had always hoped for – which involved Phil reciprocating his feelings to him – or the one that Dan was anticipating to be the reality of his situation. Rejection. Either way, his relationship with Phil would never be the same again. He decided to do what he had always done best in his life. He decided to bottle up his feelings, locking them inside and refusing to let them out so that way everything was safe.

It wasn't fair.

Dan was popular. He had millions of subscribers, a steady home life, and enough money to buy practically whatever he wanted in the world. But the one thing he truly wanted was the one thing he could never have.

Phil.

Phil. Phil. _Phil._

God, he loved Phil. There was no doubt about it. His heart was holding the maximum amount of love that could be held and then some – it was practically bleeding out of his ears. Dan had never thought it was possible to love a person as much as he loved Phil, but he did. There was no denying it and there was no turning back now.

He loved the smile that glowed brighter than a sunshine's rays. He loved the way he'd poke his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he'd giggle over various things that the pair would say. He loved how his eyes were pools of life itself, swirling around in an intoxicating trance when he'd glance around his shoulder. He loved his voice, varying from the little yelps of fear to his exhausted yawns of gentle thunder. He loved his inner beauty, a personality so stunning and breathtaking that it would set a god's eyes ablaze. Above all else, he loved Phil.

He loved him, and he couldn't have him.

He loved him. Oh, how he loved him. It wasn't fair.

He loved Phil. He wanted Phil. He _needed_ Phil. The desire for his love was so strong he could practically taste it on the tip of his teeth. And he couldn't have it.

Dan let that thought linger around in his head for a moment before he added it to the word document. The list was getting to be quite long this year. It always did. He had so many things he wanted to say.

* * *

Time was one of those possessions that either came in an overabundance or in a scarcity. It all depended on the user's relationship with time and their interactions with it.

To Phil Lester, he had too much time on his hands. To Dan Howell, however, he didn't have enough.

Dan knew that his time was coming. Death was inevitable, he knew this, and he was fully aware at exactly how close he was to its grasp. He knew Phil wasn't any farther away from the same fate. And yet, Death seemed like one of those things that remained untouchable to Phil, allowing him to carelessly float through life with ease. He loved that about him, he loved that he didn't have to worry about the things that would cause him pain on the daily just as it does with Dan.

Dan would often spend what little time he had with Phil, and he wanted it to remain as such until one of them finally gives in to the afterlife. He knew, deep down, that even though they did everything together, the one thing they would have to do separately is attend each other's' funerals. He didn't like to think about that.

Now the question was how he decided to spend his time with his best friend. The results always varied, but there was one factor that always remained the same: it made them happy. Whether it be from watching an anime together during the morning or filming a video together during the afternoon or sitting across from each other in the lounge and browsing Tumblr together during the night, they're both happy.

It was moments like that when Dan was happy that helped him forget how unhappy he truly was. The one thing that would make him perfectly happy, indefinitely, without having to worry about a second thought was the one thing he couldn't have.

Dan reminded himself to write that down in his word document when he got the chance.

"Hey, Dan," Phil called out from the kitchen, his voice almost drowned out by the echoes of bellowing pots. "Could you lend me a hand with this?"

Another favourite pastime. Cooking and eating. And yet this one made him wonder, since they just had dinner not that long ago.

"Sure," Dan said in response, setting his laptop to the side and pushing himself off the sofa with a grunt. When he turned into the kitchen, he found Phil crouched down in front of the floor cabinets, rummaging around for something. He found a mixing bowl, setting it up on the counter above him and watched as he placed everything he took out of the cabinet and put it back in. After this, he stood and started to look through the drawer above it. "What are we making?"

"It's this new recipe I found for cupcakes. It's Delia Smith," Phil didn't look up, but he handed his flatmate a whisk without thinking. There was a pause, where he just stood there, holding out the whisk and where Dan was just staring at him through the utensil with an odd look. Phil shook his arm as a commanding gesture as he looked for other supplies in the drawer he might need, and the other still didn't take it from his hands, almost as if he was expecting something. He stopped and looked over, almost frustrated, his blue eyes meeting two chocolate chips on a face, "Dan, take the whisk." It was right then when he realised what he was doing, recognising the look on his face, then he just let out a soft and drawn-out "Oh."

The two of them shared a moment of laughter before Dan took the whisk from his hands, "yeah, 'oh.'" He chuckled, watching Phil return to the drawer and pull out a few more necessities. "What're the cupcakes for?"

"Some new neighbours moved in down the hall, and I wanted to give them a nice welcoming present."

There it was. Another reason to love Phil Lester.

Dan smiled, his eyes glossing over with a fondness that he couldn't help but show. Many of his fans have also noticed the looks he'd give to his best friend, and they've even given it a name. "Heart Eyes Howell."

"I'm sure they'll love it, Phil," he said. He watched as the raven-haired man dig out the rest of the utensils and ingredients he would need to make these cupcakes perfect to how the recipe had instructed. After it was all said and done, that's when they went to work, constantly checking the MacBook to make sure that they were following the instructions to the t. At one point, Dan handed a spoon over to Phil; but when he took it, Dan let his fingers linger on his best friend's hand gently, being as slow as he could with retracting them without coming across creepy.

The other didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Dan asked. Phil glanced over at his flatmate, humming slightly with a rising intonation to indicate he was listening. "What do you do when you have a crush on someone that's way out of your league?"

"Depends on the person," The Lester man shrugged, thinking for a moment, "If you're talking about a generic celebrity, I'd just accept that I have no chance with them and move on. Why?"

Dan shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he said. He knew that Phil didn't mean it the way that it came out, nor did he know that it was a personal question to build up the courage to confess his feelings to his best friend. Either way, it shattered his hopes of ever having Phil love him back. The words replayed in his head over and over again, to the point to where he had to write them down that night on the document.

 _Accept that I have no chance with them and move on._

That night, Dan found himself unable to sleep. He stared blankly at the wall while lying on his side for what felt like hours, the only thing on his mind was how desperately he longed for Phil. He couldn't take it anymore. It was an urge that was all too powerful, and it overcame him with a quick glance.

Dan threw the covers off of him and hopped off his bed, making careful sure to be quiet with every step so that he won't cause the floorboards to creak. Slowly turning the doorknob, he walked into Phil's room, seeing him sound asleep, his back facing the door. He smiled slightly, his mind racing, and he gently sat at the end of the bed.

"I know you can't hear me," Dan said in a voice so quiet it would be a wonder if his best friend could hear what the boy was saying. "But there's something I need to get off my chest." He took a deep breath, then began to speak about the word document, about the contents within over the past seven years, and then he paused, looking back at the older man sleeping peacefully. He continued, his words growing hesitant and every breath growing shaky. At the end of his little spiel, he stood, glancing back at the other, before his mind made him do something he couldn't stop himself from doing.

He leant back down and kissed him. It reminded Dan of a fairy tale, where the prince would kiss the sleeping princess in her glass coffin, and she would wake up and live happily ever after. To these two, it felt like a happily ever after to only one, and he wasn't even awake to react to his prince charming. When they pulled away, all he could say was "God, damn," before he realised what happened.

Quickly, Dan shot up, shakily covering his mouth with his hand, whispering "I'm sorry," over and over again before dashing out of the room. When the door shut, there was a pause, then Phil opened his eyes, bringing his fingers to his lips.

* * *

It was particularly early in the year, specifically that time where the trees were having a heated debate over whether or not to grow blossoms or to remain bare, and they have chosen their sides.

Dan was the bare tree – gloomy, dark, and lifeless. He was one of those trees that sucked the tints out of everything, leaving everything behind in a grey and dull state. The world remain as colourless and frail, cold and left behind in a systematic period of time where the earth would no longer grow, and the people would drag on about their lives as if they had locked their minds away in a state of unhappiness, hoping for the day the sun would come. Oh, the influence these trees had. They were powerful alright, overpowering, even. It was like a simple snap at the wrist, and suddenly, all life and joy was gone. Even still, people learned to adapt live with these trees, walking along them like puppets, sitting atop the paleness and the snow, waiting for the day winter was done. And then it was done; and just as it was done the people would go on with their daily routine as if they had never had to sit amongst the sickly snow just below the bare Sycamore trees. Returning to their normal lives, as if nothing ever happened at all.

Phil was the tree flourishing with blossoms – playful, light, and lively. He had a particular sway about him when the wind would blow, as if it were a graceful dance that he never attempted to conjure up and produce. He was one of those trees that brought hope and joy to those around him, lighting up the world by reflecting rays from the sun, joined in by the delightful colours he'd radiate to the world with the faint shades of pink and white glows. It was like a ceremony when he arrived, granting the people their wish of no longer waiting for the day for the sun to come, because he came. What a remarkable impact these trees had. They were a gentle yet fierce giant, grabbing hold of the world and what it had and bringing it back to life, reviving all the colourless features back from the dead. People learned to anticipate these trees, excited for the vibrant colours and lush revival of live to return to their daily routine. And when they came, they too rose from the dead, running along the fields and dancing under the shade of the twigs blooming with its blossoms. It was like time had stopped, and the world had with it, just for a moment, then the moment was gone too soon; just like the cherry blossom trees it carried.

Dan saw his fair share of both of those trees when he walked the streets of London that night, each gust of wind tossing its own unique chill to the air, some of them swift enough to cut through his lungs. He had to be careful with each step, or else his drunken flatmate he was practically carrying would tumble them both onto the ground below. It was a challenge to escort a drunk even when one was sober, and so it became especially hard for Dan since he was already having some trouble himself from the few drinks he had.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for one of the duo to get drunk around the other, and they in fact had found out quite a lot about each other whenever they did get beyond tipsy. But nothing like how it was going to be. It was a little odd that Phil happened to have gotten so drunk so quickly, since they both had a fairly good alcohol tolerance, but he didn't question it. He had to just make sure they made it home safely.

"Phil, for fuck's sake, cooperate with me," Dan grimaced as he fumbled around with the keys to open their apartment door, and yet it seemed that his flatmate was leaning all his body weight onto the younger boy.

"But Danny," he whined, dragging out his "y" sound as he leaned onto the brunet. The alcohol was so potent in his breath that his best friend could almost taste it.

Dan managed to get the door opened, and they stepped in, shutting and locking it behind them when they passed the entrance clearing. "Remember to take your contact lenses off," he said in a stern and soft commanding voice, like a mother telling her child to put on their coat in the early fall.

"Yeah, yeah," he waved it off as he fumbled up the stairs, "Goodnight, Dan."

"Goodnight, Phil."

It had been fifteen minutes since then. Dan had been in that state of rest where he was drifting in and out of consciousness, his mind unable to fully shut down. He opened his eyes. _Hell, I need some Nyquil,_ he thought. But before he could get up and get some, he saw light reflecting on the wall where his door was being opened. He quickly shut his eyes again and pretended that he was asleep.

He heard his flatmate shuffle into his room and sit on his bed, similarly to how he had done a few nights before. Dan's heart was racing and hammering so loudly against his chest he almost thought the older man could hear it; and he clutched onto his blanket so tightly to keep from shaking.

Phil didn't say anything, just grabbing the younger man by his shoulders and flipping him onto his back, only to plant his lips against his. Dan felt his heart flip, stunned by what was happening, and too afraid to speak or do anything else out of fear that his best friend was keeping his feelings closeted as well.

When they pulled apart, there was a brief moment of silence. Phil let out a shaky breath, then he chuckled slightly through his nose, "God, damn, is right." _He knows!_ "But, unlike you, Dan Howell, I'm not sorry." He pecked his lips one last time and stood up and started to leave.

Dan knew he had to act fast right then, and he lunged forward, grabbing Phil by the wrist and yanking him down onto his bed. He wasn't completely on the bed when they practically devoured each other's lips, hungry for a release from all the years of built up sexual and romantic tension. Their kisses grew with intensity, their tongues battling for a dominance that neither of them could quite achieve.

"You don't know how long I've wanted this."

It was good. It was better than good. And yet, in the end they had just lied side by side, the quiet overtaking them both into unconsciousness.

* * *

Dan woke up that morning in an empty bed, a cold spot where someone else had been. He looked around, his mind wondering where his flatmate could have gone, and that's when his brain began to wander into the darkest corners of his psyche. His heart sank, and it felt like he had to force himself out of bed. He opened the door, and immediately smelt a strong aroma of coffee. It let him have just a little bit of relief to know that the other didn't just pack his things and leave.

He stepped out and into the kitchen, where Phil had been drinking from his mug, waiting for him like he would. When he arrived, he was greeted with a warm smile. "There you are," he said with a slight chuckle in his voice, "I was wondering if I was going to have to go into your room and just wake you up."

 _Does he even remember last night?_

"Make yourself some breakfast, I've got the anime waiting," he said as he finished his coffee and placed it in the sink. Phil walked past his best friend, who had a million different thoughts racing through his head.

"Phil," Dan finally spoke. When he turned back around, he hummed slightly to indicate that he was listening. "About last night…"

"What about it?" He asked flatly, almost as if he wasn't even phased. He noticed is flatmate almost unable to form a coherent sentence, and he spoke up, "Look, if I have to say anything about it, I'd say it was one of the best nights of my life." He grinned, then he leaned forward, pecking his lips and walking off into the living room.

It was poetic irony, in a sick way, that they had waited so long only to come out by Dan being reckless with his actions. Go figure, right?

There was a moment, then Dan just smiled a little to himself, turning back into the kitchen as he tried to make himself a bowl of cereal, only to find that the last of it had been eaten. He just laughed, knowing full well what it meant.

After all this time, after everything he had written down, he can finally write one final thing before he gives it to his new lover. The last thing he wrote was a short letter that was sweet, yet to the point, since everything else he had written before had taken all the other things he wanted to say. He introduced it like how he always had, "My dearest Phil."

But now, he could finally add one more punctuation mark. It was subtle, but it was beautiful in the way it read, everything heartfelt and carefully strung together to show the best person in his life only the best writing.

"My dearest Phil," finally, with a comma after dearest.

* * *

I'm not good at writing fluff you guys I'm good at angst. xD But anyway! This IS my first attempt at fluff (granted there's little fluff in this looking back oops oh well), so constructive criticism is very much appreciated! Now, I'm going to go write a chapter of "Dead Aim Alchemist" before I continue on with this, since I will be alternating between chapters of both fanfictions. Don't worry, the wait won't be longer than a few weeks unless if something comes up. Once again, thank you guys so much for reading! I can't wait to get started on your prompts here soon!

-Elena


	3. Chapter Two: Wait for It

WARNINGS FOR: Language, mentions of sex (like I think there's only one?)

PROMPT (Submitted by: AutumnMoon12): Maybe for a chapter you can do a review about them coming out to their subscribers or something? I know it's not very creative or anything, but I suppose it's an okay start.

Don't worry love, it's not a bad idea! It's a simple premise and leaves a lot of room for my own artistic liberties on it! This goes out to everyone: don't be afraid to submit an idea, even if you don't think it's good. There's no such thing as a stupid idea! Keep in mind these are all a series of one-shots unless if it says part _ on it, so each chapter isn't correlated whatsoever (I planned on maybe one or two relating, but I'll be sure to say which chapter it relates to, but if I don't mention then there's nothing). Also, if you'd also like, when you submit a prompt you could also tell me the POV you'd like me to have it set in! I think it'd be a fun and creative challenge, so hit me up, fam. But anyway, I apologize it took so long to get a chapter of Dead Aim Alchemist done so I could work on this, I was extremely busy! Even so, thank you guys so much for reading, and enjoy!

-Elena

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 **Wait for It**

This was something that they had been thinking about for what felt like their entire lives. In a way, they were more than ready for it; but in another way, they were the furthest away from being prepared. The conflict would clash in their minds every minute, and it clash in their flat every year – except for one.

Phil Lester had every scenario running through his mind like water; every possible reaction had been thought of twice over, and the paranoia from those imaginations passed in every three. It was torture.

It was absolutely agonising to live the perfect life every day with the perfect person – but it all had to be locked away only for the few hours they had alone. It wasn't fair. He was a grown ass man, he should be allowed to live the life he always wanted – and yet he couldn't, all because of some childish teenage girls.

Some days he loved them until his heart burst, and other days, he wanted to hate them with every fibre of his being. But he couldn't. Dan had once told him this, and he was absolutely right; so much so that he despised how right he was, "Phil, it's practically impossible for you to feel hate."

The lovers had this thought on their plate, constantly tasting it – and they were repulsed by how seven years later the flavour was still savouring itself in their mouths. It was disgusting by this point, but there was still a bitter sweetness that resided on the top coat of their tongues. It's almost as if they were in too deep.

It felt easier to just swim down.

But they knew they had to drag themselves back up to the surface, their nostrils burning and their lungs screaming for air – for _relief_. They knew that it was time. They knew they were ready, and that this was long overdue. And yet, they couldn't do it.

They weren't as ready as they think they'd be.

* * *

"Christ, Dan, what the hell happened to you?"

Dan opened his eyes to see his flatmate standing in the doorway, watching the younger boy struggle to sleep with tissues stuffed up his nose. He sat up and laughed when he saw the older man's expression, and thought of something witty to say in response. "I have the generic terminal illness," he chuckled. Phil's look of concern was quickly replaced with annoyance and he rolled his eyes, causing his best friend to laugh and just shake his head. "No, some peasant just sneezed on me in the underground yesterday and now I feel like death."

"You quite look like death too," Phil replied with a concerned, quiet laugh. He watched his boyfriend remove the tissues from his nose, only to replace them with newer ones from the box, sniffling. "Do you need me to pick you up any drugs?"

"Please," Dan groaned as he laid back down, nuzzling his face into his pillow. "Hey, this could make up for the hours I spent in Hong Kong walking around and getting you your medication."

"You went out for Pokémon, Dan," he giggled. "It only took you five minutes to go to the pharmacy and get me some of that herbal nonsense."

"Well I wouldn't be salty about it if I caught a motherfucking Farfetch'd," the brunet pouted, curling up into his blankets. He let out a violent cough, his fist flying up to his mouth to stop spreading the illness. "I think this is just a cold."

"I'll be back in about twenty minutes, then," Phil said, checking his pockets to see if he had his wallet; he did.

"Jesus, what'd you need twenty minutes for? It's only a block away," Dan glanced up from his pillow, a confused look on his face.

"It's Saturday."

His friend hummed slightly with an understanding nod before he closed his eyes again. Stores and roads were always ten times busier on the weekends, especially Saturday, most especially in big cities like London.

"Alright Dan, try to get some rest," Phil lectured as he carefully planted a kiss on the top of his head, prompting another hum and a nod. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Transportation always gave Phil time to think. It didn't matter what it would be about – it could be anything. Although he could only think when he was alone. When someone was there, awkward as he was, he felt obligated to interact with him, even if he wasn't the greatest at doing so. But, when he was alone, he could ignore the whole world as he pleased.

And this time, he could only think about all the things he wanted to say. To Dan, to his fans, to his family – to everyone, more like. It felt as if one category would always be left out of the loop with something. Dan and his family knew about their relationship, and yet their fans didn't. Their fans and Dan knew little bits of their daily life and routine, but yet their family didn't. There was so many things that everybody should have known, that everybody needed to hear.

But they didn't.

Nobody was ready for when it would happen. Nobody knew that it was going to be in just four short days. One would think that they knew.

But they didn't.

* * *

"Did you get any sleep while I was out?" Phil asked, crouching down beside his lover at his bed, gently using his thumb to caress his cheek. His face felt like it was burning, slicked with sweat and gleaming. His breathing was ragged and weak.

"Mhmm," he hummed softly, half-asleep and his mind groggy. Phil carefully took Dan around the shoulders and pulled him up, holding him there as he guided the medicine to his lips.

"Drink it," he ordered in a gentle tone, making sure that his partner swallowed every ounce before he laid him back down. "You should feel partially alive in a while, but make sure to get some rest, alright?"

Dan only nodded, his arm outstretched to take Phil's hand. He glanced over to his sick friend, "What do you need, Bear?"

"When are we gonna tell them?" he asked, his eyes still closed but his voice was clear. "When is it gonna happen?"

There was a pause, a long pause. The kind of pause that drew itself out and felt that it could last for days. They didn't know the answer, and they couldn't handle that.

"I don't know," Phil confessed with a sad tone, "I don't know."

* * *

It took two days for the sickness to clear his system entirely, since they don't last long in his body when his immune system is aided with drugs. On the third, the pair decided it would be a good day to relax. No tweets, no videos, no emails, nothing. Just Dan and Phil, all by themselves in their little flat without any connection to their Internet personalities whatsoever.

They haven't had a day like that in a long time

"Hear me out," Phil sat up, leaning forward with excitement about his new idea. Dan, halfway through his glass of Ribena, just laughed at the sheer unique insanity of his roommate. "Let's say you put salt on, but since it's white, you can't always see how much you put on."

"Maybe you can't," his friend responded, shaking his head and chuckling as he took a sip from his glass. "Because you're as blind as a bat."

"Did you know that bats aren't really blind?"

"Oh my God, Phil, I was making a point!" He laughed, setting his drink off to the side to avoid dropping. Phil just giggled in response, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth just slightly as the giggles came out. They had music playing on their Macs, from a playlist they specifically made for each other. It just switched songs.

"But anyways, you don't always see how much you put on, right?" He asked again.

Dan just shook his head and sighed with a quiet laugh, "You know what, sure."

"Exactly! So if you have different coloured salts, then you would always be able to see how much you put on because you have a colour that sticks out!" His face was gleaming, his eyes bright and full of joy from the brilliance behind his idea.

 _What did I do to deserve you, Phil Lester?_

Goddamn, was that love powerful.

"I will admit, it's a great idea," Dan finally gave in, gazing at his partner with an affectionate look in his eyes. There was a pause, where the pair's eyes locked for a moment, before they finally leaned in.

They shared a wide variety of kisses throughout their time together. There was the quick peck before they had to do something, the wet, sloppy make-out sessions on the nights they'd make love, the slow, the tender, the angry and the desperate. This kiss they shared just then was one of the slow, one of the tender, and equally as beautiful.

They didn't pull away entirely, only partially; the only thing separating their bodies was the brief gap between their lips. As for everything else – pressed forehead, wrapped arms, intermingled legs, even their chests – were all combined into one. And they wouldn't have it any other way.

Glancing up from their lips, the two locked eyes once again, this time both sharing that compassionate gaze that only Dan had had once before. And this time, Phil reciprocated, wondering how in the hell someone could be so damn pretty.

 _What did I do to deserve you, Dan Howell?_

There were so many questions and no enough answers, and yet it was if one kiss would solve them all time and time again until these questions resurfaced – then their lips would meet once again, all concerns suddenly erased.

The song changed, and Phil was the first to smile. "It's our song," he pulled away completely, standing in front of him and extending his hand. "When was the last time we danced together?"

Dan smiled, taking his hand and standing to his feet. He pulled their bodies together again, holding hands with one arm. For the older, his hand was wrapped around his lover's waist, and for the younger, his hand rested on his lover's shoulder. Slowly, their bodies swayed together, side to side and little by little they walking in circles.

Their eyes closed, Phil gently buried his nose in the crook of the other's neck, taking in a deep breath – taking in the moment – no words, no sight, just feeling. No words were needed to be said; they left so many words unspoken, so many conversations unsaid. They were just that connected.

"Phil," Dan breathed out, carefully choosing his next words. "I think we should tell them."

They paused again, their looks changing. They were scared, terrified even, of telling them. But at this rate, they'll die before they're finally ready to come out. He considered back when they started dating in 2009, but he decided otherwise because of his fans.

Nothing had changed.

"I don't know," Phil sighed again, burying his face deeper into his lover's neck, regardless of his silent protests. But before he could continue, Dan interrupted him, trampling over his words as he let go of his lover's hand and just wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"I don't care if you know," his voice wavered, his body almost shaking with every breath. "I care if we're ever going to do this. They've waited long enough. _We've_ waited long enough, Phil. For God's sake, I can't handle the secrecy anymore."

The song changed.

"Dan…" He held him so close. They held onto each other so tightly it was almost as if they would float away from each other if one even dared to let go. "Our lives are never going to be the same after this, you know that, right?"

Dan nodded. "I think I'm ready, Phil."

Phil took in a deep breath, his mind racing and thoughts became jumbled and blurred together. He couldn't fathom at the response that would happen after the video was released – he couldn't look. After a moment, he turned his head and gave his lover one last kiss.

"I think I'm ready, too."

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars…_

* * *

"Hey guys!"

"Hi Internet!"

"So I was browsing the depths of Tumblr before I noticed something that I thought might be a good idea."

"And what is that, Phil?"

"We're going to be recreating phanart!"

"Yeah!"

"So basically me and Dan are going to scroll through Tumblr and try to imitate any popular phanart that we notice."

"This is going to end badly, won't it?"

"Probably."

"Oh well."

"Let's begin!"

A jump cut. Laughter. Smiles. Light. So much light.

"So the first piece of phanart we see is–"

"Oh God. It's me with my hair from 2011. I'M NOT RECREATING THAT!"

"It'd be kind of impossible anyway, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah let me just grow eighteen inches of hair in two seconds."

"You know it'd be cool if we could just sit and grow out our hair if we want."

"…what?"

"Different hairstyle every day."

"Phil, I just…oh let's move on."

"And the next one we see is–"

"–aww. Phil, that's adorable."

"How would we recreate that? Do we just Photoshop Dil in or…?"

"I want a real Dil."

"Let's be real he'd cause a natural disaster the last thing we need in this world is a Howlter."

"I want a child, Phil."

"Well we can get one later, but for now how are we going to do this one?"

"Let's come back to it after we get a Dil."

"Alright. This next one is awfully funny. It's quite accurate too."

"It's too accurate. I swear to God, Phil. You and your houseplants need to have a break."

"Let me go get some houseplants."

"For God's sake."

Laughter. A jump cut.

"I've got my houseplants."

"I refuse to understand you sometimes."

"Oh you love me."

"I do."

"Now come here and take this photo with me."

Smiles. Another jump cut.

"Alright, and the next phanart we're going to recreate is–"

"–Dan! Dan! Let's do that one!"

"Really? That looks uncomfortable. I mean we've had our fair share of awkward kisses but this one looks straight up uncomfortable."

"We can make it less uncomfortable, then."

"Alright then, come here and kiss me."

"I'd love to."

So many smiles. So many laughs. So much happiness. So much freedom.

* * *

"Well, Internet, I bet you all have been expecting that for some time."

"Dan and I have been wanting to tell you guys this forever, but we were scared of the reaction."

"Please don't make us regret this."

"Thank you for sticking with us from the very beginning. Here's to you."

"Thank you guys, seriously, so much."

When it faded to black, it marked the end of the video, but the beginning of a new life.

And they were ready.

* * *

And done! This took a while to write as I'm aromantic and actually terrible at writing romance. I wanted to try a little something different for the last bit, so I hoped it worked out. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, at least! Thank you again so much for reading!

-Elena


	4. Chapter Three: Song for the Siren

WARNINGS FOR: Language, one sex mention

PROMPT (Submitted by: gracieTpie): That was great! So cute, loved it! Could you please do a oneshot about them to do with cats or the piano? Thanks! Xx

Thank you so much for the kind words! I'd love to do a chapter on this, and to be honest I was wanting to write about Dan playing the piano for a long time. So what better time to do so than at four in the morning on a school night? Thanks insomnia! But anyway: I decided on the piano because I feel cats would be too easy – and the piano is heavily underrated in the phandom. To help with mood, I've listened to "Better Than Yourself" by Lukas Graham on repeat, so if that helps you at all. Even if you don't listen to it while reading, I really would like for you guys to listen to that song at least once, since I quote it in here and I would like you guys to know the way Dan sings it. Thank you again so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

-Elena

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 **Song for the Siren**

 _G._

In 2009, the piano was nothing more than a hobby. Dan had played it, of course, and Phil had always set aside time on purpose to listen to the notes, but it never became anything of major significance until a few years later. The melodies were always so sweet, so upbeat, so hopeful – so loving. He would always try to teach him, and mistakes were always made. They'd giggle, and it'd all be okay, because they would move on as if nothing ever happened at all.

"You know what Dan, I'm not really cut out for music. I think it should just be you doing it, it'll be your thing."

"Sure."

They were so happy. They were so, so happy.

 _F sharp._

In 2012, everything changed. It became the era of Dan's life that he played the piano most. What else could he do? He couldn't go anywhere without someone pushing his and Phil's relationship, even on the internet – especially on the internet. He was drowning in a sea of grief; it felt easier to let the water into his lungs, to give in. It felt easier to just swim down.

The piano was his escape, his release, a way of expression. He would belt out the lyrics of whatever he played, slamming his fingers down onto black and white, his face wet and his voice desperate. The songs were sombre, so melancholy, an overwhelming sadness that vibrated throughout the walls of their apartment.

Phil was never with him when this music was played, but he heard it. He would sit outside the door, his eyes closed and leaning against the wall, tears on both sides of his face. He wanted to go in there and sing with him, playing along – he wanted to do whatever it took to restore what they had, but he couldn't. He was so scared, and he loved his best friend so much. He couldn't do it. No matter how hard either of them cried, he couldn't do it.

" _You got your head up, but I don't have my hopes high. I know that you're a good man, and that's what, brings a tear to my eye. I'm like, oh-oh, I hope you know you're not alone in that hell. And there ain't, no-oh, no one can change it, no one can do it better than yourself."_

The music was so powerful, so beautiful, but so miserable. It was a terrible comfort, but they needed something, anything. It felt like the water was pulling them in deeper, both of them stuck in a scenario where suffocation was the only possible outcome. At times, they wished for that outcome. It would have been easier.

They were so sad. They were so, so sad.

 _B._

 _E._

In 2013, changes were more of a shift. A slow, gradual shift that felt like a car with only two wheels working. But it was working, nonetheless, and two wheels were all they needed. All they truly needed was just one wheel, but two made it that much easier. It was rocky, trudging along the best it could until they could get the ball rolling on its own.

They would, but it took a year.

Dan continued to play the piano just as he always had, but it felt so strange. His mind was cluttered and could only remember the times he played it the year before. That awful point in their lives forever tainted the memory of the piano, but he played anyway.

Even if it hurt, it was still soothing – and it still comforted the two boys during times when they're hurting more than they could take. They still loved it, even if they hated it. The same could be said for each other.

There were times Dan's fingers stopped while they laced across the keys, his hand trembling and his breathing shaky. His eyes would water, and Phil would slowly walk up behind him, wrapping his arms around his best friend and holding him tightly from behind. In those times, they would cry, clinging to each other and giving each other nothing less than the love and support they needed and deserved.

The world hadn't ended yet – and they had made it through hell together. They did it, and things were getting better, slowly but surely; but that still didn't stop the pain.

They didn't know what they were.

 _D._

2014 was very different from the years before. It almost felt like home, in a sense, reminding them of how things were and how they were always meant to be. It wasn't quite like how things were before, but things were pretty damn close.

The sadness would occasionally slip back into their lives, mainly Dan's, while Phil had almost moved on from what happened two years before entirely. He could still hear the piano, he would still remember the music, but along with it he would feel the same heart-wrenching pain he had tried so hard to subside. Sometimes, Phil wouldn't remember why Dan would come to him in a fit of tears, holding him tightly and blubbering about how much he loved him.

It took a few times before he finally figured it out. It would get to the point to where he would treat Dan's occasional moments of sadness the same way he would help his lover through his existential crises or an anxiety attack: a moment of making love just between the two of them to ease his mind off the subject, and some movie or round or two of Mario Kart after it was all said and done.

It was something, anything, to help him forget. No, forget wasn't the right word, because 2012 was a year they would have to remember for the rest of their lives. It was more like acceptance, or a toleration.

They were enough, they were so enough, and it was unbelievable how enough they were.

Dan's piano playing had reduced greatly, but towards the latter half of the year, he began to pick it back up again, the music that he played were mainly songs he couldn't get out of his head, or at least something he had been trying to learn forever. Comforted and collected, the melodies soothing their heads until they couldn't stay awake any longer.

They were more like lullabies, those piano pieces. They were lullabies.

"Keep playing Dan," Phil said, his voice smoother than honey and a smile brighter than the sun. He placed his hand on top of one of Dan's, but not enough to impede on the work, but enough to feel the sensation of each other's skin. "I love it when you play."

 _G._

 _C._

 _B._

2015.

"Hey Phil, could you help me with something?"

"Sure."

Phil followed the trail of the voice, to find Dan sitting at his piano, tapping his foot and papers scattered around him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm writing a song. It was some tune stuck in my head, and I want to play it out," Dan said as he flipped through what he had written so far. It was about a ten-minute song, but he had no intentions of playing the entire piece out right then and there. "I want your opinion on it."

Phil nodded, intrigued by what his flatmate had to present to him, "Go for it," he said.

When the melody began, it started as a bittersweet harmony in the typical fashion of Dan Howell's music taste. But, it slowed, the notes growing heavier with more weight on each sound, before the unexpected happened.

He started to sing.

Phil didn't really expect words to come out of his lover's mouth, and he was lucky enough that he could hear the lyrics because he sang so quietly. And yet, even through the quiet, the words escaping his lips resonated throughout the whole apartment complex.

" _Because now,_

 _Forever and always,_

 _I will love you,_

 _I will love you,_

 _Until my dying day,_

 _Forever and always,_

 _Always,_

 _You were mine."_

They were happy. Once more they were happy. So, so happy.

 _E._

2016.

"You know, Dan, I don't think I could ever imagine a life without you."

"I could imagine it, but it's an awfully sad life."

"Then let's not live a life without each other."

"That sounds like a plan."

 _A._

The year is 2022.

All it took was a few more notes before they sealed their love for the rest of their lives. It was just a few notes left before they took one step further. After it was all said and done, they returned to their home like they normally would, and one of the first things they did was play a duet. It was the first time Phil had tried since they first met, and Dan taught him everything.

Because they weren't separate people anymore. They were one being. It was no longer just "Dan and Phil," it was just "them."

They were so happy.

So, so happy.

 _D._

* * *

Thank you guys so much for reading, I hope you liked it! This was a new angle I tried and it was really fun to write. I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait for more submissions!

-Elena


	5. Chapter Four: Cheap Thrills

WARNINGS FOR: Language

PROMPT (Submitted by: SmolPuffPastry, AKA my best friend, Lily): Write about the time when they went on the Manchester Eye and they were both really nervous but then you know what happens xD THE FLIPPY OVER THING YEAH WRITE ABOUT THAT.

Lily, oh Lily, you're such a romantic sap. It's gross, but it's cute on you. Thank you so much for reading! Enjoy!

-Elena

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 **Cheap Thrills**

October 19th, 2009.

Manchester.

12 Pounds.

Dan Howell had a plan with this. He and Phil had talked about going on the Manchester Eye while on Skype a few times, but the fact they were actually following through with it. The fact that he is _here_ with _Phil Lester._

He couldn't breathe. He could feel Phil's nervousness practically pouring out of every inch of his body, and all Dan could do was reciprocate with what escaped through his skin. It may just be the heights – Phil doesn't like those – or it could be he might have read his fan's mind.

This plan, if successful, could make Daniel James Howell more than just a fan to the amazing Phil. They were already good friends, yes, but there was still that barrier – there was still that wall of fan-meets-idol emotion that barricaded the two and made it impossible to not feel slightly awkward all the time. Dan wanted to rip that barrier down to its knees, then beat it into the dust. That is exactly what he had plans to do.

The line would move up a little at a time. One person. Three people. A couple. A small group of four. Two again.

It was all a cycle, and they would soon be a part of it.

Nothing could prepare them for what was to come in the future. Dan wasn't even thinking about the future. He was thinking about _now_ and _here._

It's all Dan could think about. For once in his life, he wasn't so petrified of what came next. The only thought that petrified him was leaving Phil.

They took a few steps forward, their chance was coming sooner and sooner every second. The younger boy looked up to his idol, his hand reaching for the other, but just as quickly pulling away.

"Say, Phil?"

"Hmm?" Phil replied with only a gentle hum, keeping his eye on the wheel for a moment before turning his head and looking down slightly to lock eyes with his friend. "What is it?"

"Do you think that we'll be friends forever?"

It was cheesy. It was stupidly cheesy, but he couldn't handle the stress – of the wait – that drug out the nervousness pounding in their chests till the end of time. He needed something, anything, to reassure him. Phil processed the question, then he smiled. It was a warm smile, a contagious glow that flowed across the world like the sun. His tongue poked out of the corner of his lips – they always did – and it made the younger man just _melt_.

Taking the boy's hand in both of his, Phil gently pat the backside and looked at the brunet, "That's the plan." He let go, letting their hands dangle at their sides as he looked back at the wheel. They were so close to it now. After the group of three in front of them hops on, they're next. "It's incredible, isn't it? Look at how high up it goes."

Dan wasn't thinking about the wheel. His plan was the last thing on his mind, but he had to admit that it was going to be a beautiful sight – seeing the city during the night from the top of the heights, it's enough to make someone's heart flip.

He glanced back at Phil's hands, remembering how gently they touched, and how beautiful it felt. How _right._

" _That's the plan."_

God damn it, how could he be so lucky to love this man? Phil loved him, too, it was clear, but Dan wasn't sure if he loved him the way _he_ loved him. He questioned himself, wondering if he should even follow through with his plan to begin with. He didn't want to destroy the chance of life-long friendship with the best person in his life for the sake of a simple gesture of love. The odds were against him. If he did it, Phil would take it back. He would hate him. There would be no way–

 _Take his hand._

Dan glanced at Phil's hand again. He wanted nothing more at that moment – well, he did, but this was the first thing on his mind – and his hand wandered closer to the other side, gently brushing his fingers against his palm before he changed his mind and yanked backward. If he were to do it now, it would ruin it all. Phil wouldn't want to go on the wheel with him. Phil wouldn't want anything left to do with him. He would hate him. There's no way he could do it.

He could never predict what happened next, either.

Phil took a slight glance to the side, the boy next to him making a conscious effort to keep his cool, and it was noticeable. He glided his hand around Dan's in a lock, and he intertwined their fingers together.

It was a shock that resonated for years.

Dan looked up to his idol – the very person he had been hopeless crushing on for _years_ , and he was holding hands with him. Holy shit, they were holding hands, and their arms were _linked._ Phil only smiled in response, his head turning forward as the capsule in front of them was now empty. It was their turn. They were still nervous. Dan was, especially. The wild card that was the hand holding threw him off, now his mind buzzing with whether or not he should do it. He couldn't decide.

God, please don't screw this up.

They walked into the pod, taking their seats next to each other and watching the door close. Then, they started to ascend. It was a like a movie – a star struck awe that flooded Dan as they reached for the sky. However, the movies never talked about the fear.

The sheer, utter terror that would build deep within a pit in his stomach. He was sick. His grip tightened around Phil's hand, causing the older man to be just that much more nervous. It was almost if he could read his mind.

"Are you alright, Dan?" Phil asked.

The boy nodded, taking a deep breath. They were close to the top now. He was the man with the plan, and even he didn't know what was coming next. He let go of his hand, then wrapped his arm around Phil, pulling him close as he looked towards the sky. The stars were so beautiful. His little star, the YouTuber he clung to so desperately, was just as stunning. No, not just as. That was insulting – he was better than those damn stars.

 _Please_ don't screw this up.

His hands were fidgeting – his breath was shaky. They were so close and he could practically taste it. He wondered if Phil could smell the fear he emitted so obviously. He probably could – it was that painful to witness.

His mind wouldn't stop racing. Everything they had built towards – everything they were building for now – was trembling on a line. Dan wondered what their future would hold. He remembered what happened before – it all lead up to this moment, and he didn't know how important the moment would be.

He didn't know that he would never forget it.

" _Do you remember the time, when we first met at the train station?"_

Dan looked over to Phil again, who had now closed his eyes and smiled at him. He wasn't even paying attention to the sky. His head leaned on the boy's chest, causing a small chuckle to erupt from his throat.

" _Do you remember the time, when you said that you loved me in the snow?"_

He looked back to the sky for just a brief moment. He pulled Phil closer to him. His mind was buzzing with blurred thoughts and lines that never made sense. Phil looked up from his chest, still smiling, but it grew when their eyes locked.

 _Fuck it._

" _Do you remember the time, when I kissed you on the Manchester Eye?"_

It was so sudden. It was wave after wave of love and ecstasy that drew out the moment only to forever, but then flung them back to reality. Phil's heart flipped in his chest – it had never really done that before. It was incredible, he almost wanted to cry.

It was so perfect – their first kiss – so uniquely theirs. When they pulled away, they didn't know how to react. They smiled, they laughed. It was so right.

They did it again. Once more, just as they started to descend from the top of the heights. They didn't even look at the sky. It was a chilly night, but their kiss was so warm. So comforting. So damn beautiful to them that it created a spark that would keep them connected for the rest of their lives.

It was perfect.

" _Do you remember the time, back in 2009?"_

* * *

I know this wasn't very long and I apologize for that, but I didn't think of how else I could make this better xD Hopefully you enjoyed it at least. Remember to PLEASE CRITIQUE ME! I'm an aromantic, I don't feel romantic attraction and I'm blindly writing these oneshot. For those of you out there fortunate enough to feel romantic attraction, please point out if I did anything wrong! I want this to be as realistic as possible, all while being so full of fluff that you're in pain. I live for watching others suffer.

But anyway! Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

-Elena


	6. Chapter Five: Dear to the Heart

WARNINGS FOR: Language, sexual themes (but there's no full-on sex scenes it'll make sense when you read it)

PROMPT: This is my own idea! I thought about it last night before I went to bed: just the random funny moments while they were making love or roleplaying in the bedroom. They could be random puns or just random events that happened that just absolutely killed the mood, but it left them in a huge fit of giggles. It's a cute idea, and I have never seen it done before, so I'm doing it.

SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: Anything by Troye Sivan tbh I just turned him on shuffle, plus some ASMR because I was really tense writing this and idek why. Also, I turned on the Yuri on Ice soundtrack and just let it play fam don't ask me which songs. xD

I hope this is funny please let this be funny. TELL ME IF THIS IS FUNNY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE. I spent a lot of time with my gay uncle in Chicago and he told me a thing or two about gay sex, so hopefully that helped reflect in my writing. Anyway! I hope you guys like this chapter! Comments are appreciated, I don't care if they don't have opinions in them or not, just SEND ME PROMPTS! I need them in order for this fanfic to progress. Thank you guys so much for reading. Enjoy!

-Elena

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

 **Dear to the Heart**

Dan had once read somewhere that if he wasn't laughing during sex, then he wasn't comfortable enough with the person he was having sex with. That alone made him laugh – he had plenty of funny times in the bedroom, moments that cause them both to just burst into laughter, losing whatever arousal they would have. They were completely fine with it, because the moment was just as incredible as if they were making love, even if it was incredible in a different way.

The first time something like this happened was during their first time, as when most comical moments happen. Dan was and was not a virgin. He had had sex before, but only when it involved heterosexuality. As far as sleeping with another man? Never.

Phil, on the other hand, had a few times, but he bottomed. This was his first time taking the top and he wasn't sure what else exactly he had to do other than what was obvious. They both knew it was going to hurt, and they both were fully aware that lube was super important.

Dan had brought some with him for this moment, and they had been preparing for it ever since he stepped off the train. And there they were, completely in the moment. He was sure that cherry flavoured would be best, since cherry would always be the safest route to go.

They weren't sure where to go from there. They knew which areas to apply it, how gentle they had to be, but they had no idea how much to use. Carefully, Phil applied some to his fingers and slid them into Dan, cautious enough to keep the pain at an absolute minimum. Then, he put in some more, then some around the hole, then some along his own member. By the time he had finished with everything a few times over, he tried to push himself in.

Needless to say, he may have applied a bit too much.

When he was in, some of the lube was pushing itself out, acting like something else that was rather inappropriate, but it was a prominent thought in their minds. The smell of cherry was overpowering and it made a sound that resembled a mouse squeaking. Dan laughed at this point, realising what had happened, and he just simply said, chuckling: "Phil, my God, you do realize this is going to be on your bed forever?"

"Looks like there's more than one cherry in question," Phil blurted, referring to not just the lube, but what happened with his new lover.

There was a moment, before Dan just groaned and lolled his head back, "That was awful," he said with a laugh. "So much cherry everywhere."

Phil bent down and kissed his neck, still laughing from the events, and they resumed. They could never look at cherries the same way again, and Phil even put it into a little video he sent to Dan on Valentine's Day. It still brought about their laughter even now.

On New Year's, the couple decided that it would be nice to unwind together, which included unravelling each other until they were completely undone. It was so easy to forget how they weren't the only people that decided to celebrate time with family, even if they were at a distance.

"A-Ah!" Dan cried out as Phil traced his tongue down along his chest. He slid back up, making eye contact with his lover and smiled.

"Should I keep going?" he asked.

"P-Please," the boy beneath him started, but the phone started to ring. They both looked over, and Phil was the one that pushed himself to check. "Who is it?"

"It's your grandma," he replied.

"Fuck," Dan said as he sat up, taking the phone. "I have to take this. She freaks out whenever I don't answer."

Phil just nodded, sitting back down on the bed and watched as his lover stuttered and stammered a simple hello. He waited, thinking how adorable it was to see his roommate so flustered while talking to his grandmother.

Just as Dan hung up, his own phone rang.

"Jesus Christ," Dan laughed. "Let me guess, it's your grandma too?"

Laughing, Phil checked his phone to see who it was. If it was family he had to answer it, but he could always ignore a friend and call them back later. Yet, lo and behold, it was his grandmother as well. He laughed again, nodding as he picked up the phone.

"You know what," Dan began, pecking their lips before walking to the pile of clothes on the side of the room. He started to put them on, clearly they picked a bad time "to be continued."

It wasn't all too long later when Dan and Phil decided to experiment. Roleplay quickly became a favourite of theirs, and they always enjoyed what came with it – before, during, and after. Even then, it wasn't safe from a mood killer.

Dan started it, as per usual. He of course would be the one to make a situation awkward quicker than any human being put together. It was a special talent of his, and it often lead to relatable stories on the Internet. However, this was one of those stories that couldn't be shared with his followers.

It was in a really tense moment, right before Phil was about to go in. His fingers were wrapped around his submissive's throat, bodies grinding and his voice deep and husky. "What do you say, Daniel?"

"Please, Phil," he moaned. His hands were tied up on the headboard, the blindfold only heightening his senses as he struggled to breathe and speak. However, right after he said that, another part of his body decided to speak on behalf of him, then caused only an awkward silence between the two. They had heard each other fart before, but not during the bedroom. That was a first. It was one of those that sounded worse than what it actually was. There was, now that they thought about it, no smell behind it.

There was a pause, then Phil was the first to laugh as his lover blushed a deep red. "That's it, that's our queue," he laughed as he pushed himself off. His voice was back to how it normally was: a soft thunder that was as soothing as it was beautiful. He untied Dan, who, once his hands were free, flung them up to his face to cover it in shame and he turned to his side, groaning. "It's not the first time that's happened."

Dan only groaned again in response, "this is so embarrassing."

Phil only smiled, leaning down to kiss the younger man's cheek and curl up next to him, tenderly stroking the man's arm with his thumb. "Want to try again?"

"Give me a moment," Dan whined.

There was a moment, and the next thing they knew they were back at it again. The kisses weren't exactly loving, but they were at the same time if that made sense at all. Phil practically devoured his lover, his lips hungry as his cock twitched with anticipation. He sat up, twirling his finger in a circle to signal the other to turn onto their stomach.

Eager to obey, Dan pushed himself on his palms to turn, but one hand slipped. He suddenly found himself on the floor with a loud thud. It was instantly after the fall when he heard Phil topple over with laughter.

"Sorry, sorry," the older man laughed as he peeked over the bed. "Are you alright Daniel?"

Daniel, on the other hand, was not alright. He was exaggerating, of course, but he let out a frustrated groan as he fake cried, "I think this is God telling me that I'm not getting laid tonight."

His lover above him on the bed chuckled again and extended his hand. "Come now, let's get dressed. Are you feeling pizza tonight?"

"That sounds nice."

Phil, however, was not in the clear when it involved awkward moments during sex. One of Dan's personal favourite highlights of his lover was during another intense moment between the two of them and BDSM.

Dan was melting into it, as usual, but this time around it was a lot more aggressive. It was towards the beginning when they first started to implement it in the bedroom, and Phil was actually a little uncomfortable the first few times around, until he found that right kink with it that would get him hard in _seconds._

This was before he found said kink.

Dan was in tears, not from pain or sadness or anything, it just came with the package. He was completely held hostage, limbs tied, blindfolded, the whole nine yards. Phil's voice was dark, cold, and unforgiving, and he growled in his submissive's ear to stir terror in his emotions.

He hated doing that.

He wanted to just untie his lover right now and revert back to the vanilla sex that they were used to. He knew that Dan was loving it, and he saw the appeal behind it, but he just wasn't… _into_ it like Dan was. Not yet anyways.

"Phil, p-please," the younger boy squealed.

He had to admit, it was hot to see Dan so vulnerable – so utterly helpless that he had been reduced to _beg_. He slapped his submissive across the face and let his hands slid down around his throat. "I told you not to talk."

He nodded, whimpering, the blindfold wet with tears.

He hated it so much.

He remembered that he and Dan came up with a word for situations where one of them couldn't take it, and he wanted to use it. However, he couldn't remember the word. His hand laced down to his submissive's twitching member and traced his fingers along the length.

 _Shit, what's the word?_

Damn it, if Phil wanted out, he wanted _out_ , and no amount of horniness could stop him. He decided to yell the first thing that came to mind in place of the safe word. It had to work, right?

"Eliza Pancakes!"

Dan went silent in that same second, making a strange face. He could almost see what his eyes were doing behind the blindfold until he took it off. He chuckled, seeing an equally strange face meeting his newly opened eyes, "What the hell, Phil?"

"I forgot the safe word," he confessed.

The brunet laughed loudly, rolling his head backwards at how utterly adorable the situation suddenly became. "Phil, it's Jamaica."

Suddenly the recollection sparked across his mind, a soft "oh" escaping his mouth and he held the note. "That's right, that's what it was."

"You alright, then? Why'd you stop?" Dan wasn't questioning his mood, but what caused said mood.

"I just don't feel comfortable beating you in the bedroom, even if it's consensual. I just don't like seeing you cry like that," Phil untied the restraints and sat back.

"I'm sure you'll come around if you get used to it," his lover sighed as he sat up, rubbing his wrists. However, he wasn't going to push it. He'd just keep it a kink that will never get played out as normal as long as Phil was happy. "Come on then, what do you want to do?"

"Keep going, obviously," Phil looked over and locked eyes with his friend, "but not like that. Just like how we normally do. Is that okay?"

Dan smiled, leaning in and pressed his lips softly against his lover's. "Of course it is."

There, they resumed. The continuation did not last long, however, because Phil was simply a cheeky little shit. He pinned Dan down onto the mattress, leaning down to kiss down his chest and trail the kisses to in-between his legs.

The brunet lolled his head around, his eyes fluttering open and shut and moaning loudly from the waves of ecstasy that rippled across his body. Phil sucked lovingly on patches of skin on his chest and around his manhood, his neck crooked just to the side and nuzzling his face into his thighs. He smirked into his skin.

"Damn Daniel," he said, mocking the meme as he kissed Dan's inner thigh. "These thighs are thicc."

That was it, that was the moment Dan was turned off just as quick as he was turned on. He sat up, a look of loving annoyance on the boy's face and he raised his hands as if he was being held at gunpoint. The hilarious sarcasm dripped from his tone, "That's it, that's it. I'm done. We're done. Goodbye AmazingPhil. It was nice."

"Aw, Danny," Phil giggled as he sat up. However, when he raised his head to speak, his tongue decided to work against him, in the same way that it did in _"My Body Sucks!"_

He gleeked.

The liquid hit Dan in the face, which caused him to erupt into laughter as he wiped it. "Really, Phil? I'm being attacked on all ends!" He wiped the saliva off his face, then looked to his roommate and winked.

That's when Phil saw an opportunity and he seized it. He pounced onto his lover, pinning him down on his chest and whispering in his ear as he rubbed his member against the boy's bottom. "One end is about to be pounded."

And it was.

Sometimes, the mood killer was neither of their faults. Just like with their grandmothers, it could have been a particular outside source that had the worst timing in the world. Dan specifically remembered one incident with a specific neighbour of theirs that they talk about quite frequently in their videos.

By this point, they were close. Dan had his lover's face cupped in his hands, while Phil's hands lied palm flat on either side of the bottom's face as he moved at a quick rhythm. Their breathing was practically synchronized, their eyes locked and clouded with love. They kissed, for just a moment, then pulled apart to stare at each other once more as he slowly picked up the pace some more.

They weren't the only ones that were enjoying themselves either. Downstairs, they heard their neighbour moaning extremely loud through the floors. This snapped the two out of their trance with each other, and Dan looked to the ground in annoyance.

"Don't pay them any attention, Dan," Phil said as he kissed him, trying to take his mind off of the situation. "Just focus on us."

Dan tried to, but it was extremely difficult. He found himself somewhere else, his mind trying to focus on the moment, but he kept noticing his eyes trailing to the floor when their neighbour would moan loudly. That's when he had a bright idea.

Snapping his head to the side, he waited until the neighbour let out two loud moans, then he screamed in response. Phil snorted, actually stopping and trying to back out of the situation given that Dan and their neighbour were now having a sex-noise scream off.

"Don't you dare stop, Phillip, I want him to hear this," Dan demanded. He had to admit, at times he could be extremely petty, but this was on a whole new scale.

"Dan, stop, you're going to get us in trouble!" Phil chuckled, both amused and nervous as he was stretching close to the edge.

"That wouldn't – aaaAAAAHHHHH! – stop him, now would it?"

Phil just laughed, and they continued on until they heard the neighbour go quiet, and the two could peacefully climax.

In a similar situation, instead of moaning, Dan let out a goose noise, causing Phil to just stop and stare at him. They laughed about that one for weeks afterwards, leading it to become an inside joke that would even make the cut of some of their videos. Fans noticed, but they never knew where it originated.

The couple, however, did know, and they left it just between the two of them.

There was also a time when they were having a quickie in the kitchen, one of them – Dan couldn't remember who – grabbed a whisk, and suddenly made the whole situation uncomfortably hilarious. They simply took themselves to a new area and continued there without thinking about it too much.

Oh, the puns. How could Dan forget the puns?

Living with Phil meant basically sharing a flat with a walking pun dispenser – dropping puns in any time, any place, and any situation. Sex was no exception.

The first one wasn't expected at all. Dan lied flat on his stomach, clutching the blankets tightly as he glanced back at his lover. "Phil, please be careful."

Phil only nodded as he spread lubricant on his fingers to stretch the boy. "Don't worry Dan," he smirked, "I _lube_ you."

Dan looked straightforward, mimicking looking into the camera as if he was in The Office. "Really? At a time like this?"

Phil only chuckled, his fingers carefully stretching the bottom's hole.

"You're a pain in my ass," Dan laughed.

"That's not the only thing in your ass tonight."

" _Phil!_ "

The next one was a bit cleverer, despite the moment.

In 2012, they broke up. It was only for a short period, and even then it didn't stop them from having their occasional hate sex because they still lived together and their hormones raged in ways that made a teenager shudder. It was insane, and they were back at it again, clawing at each other and biting each other, teeth seething and practically ripping each other apart as Dan was tightly pinned up against the wall.

He tried to push Phil back, but the older boy refused, practically forcing the boy to stay where he was. They both wanted it, and they both knew it, but it still frustrated Phil nonetheless that someone that was just so _submissive_ is trying to act so tough like he's some big shot.

For once.

"You fucking _pervert,_ " Dan spat. Of course he had to throw the age gap in there. They were both adults by this point, but he tried to throw that in his face whenever he could. He was only eighteen in 2009, but that didn't make him mentally any younger. "I'm _straight._ "

Phil growled as he laughed, looking at his roommate with a mixture of emotions. He leaned forward as if he was going to kiss him again, but Dan yanked his head back. He wasn't going to kiss him anyway, but he bought his mouth to his ear. "Yeah?" he hissed, "Well, so is spaghetti, until you get it hot and wet."

It was meant to be intimidating, but Phil couldn't help but smile at his little joke, and Dan had to bit his lips together to keep them from curling upwards. "You're just as pathetic as you were three years ago."

"And you're still pathetic enough to fall for it every time."

The next time was Dan's fault, when Phil pushed his hair back into a quiff so he could properly look up from in-between his lover's legs. Dan had his head rolled back and his eyes shut tight, panting so heavily he thought he was going to climax right then and there from the attention that the older gave to his throbbing erection.

He looked up, noticing that ginger roots were starting to sprout back into the black from a lack of a much needed hair dying appointment. He let out a soft snort, "Say, Phil, what do you call a gay ginger?"

Phil's eyes fluttered up from the skin as he sucked carefully, creating absolutely the most beautiful sight that Dan had ever seen. He didn't stop, but his eyebrow raised slightly to see where the younger was getting at.

" _Flaming_."

Phil choked from laughing, and he had to retreat on the blowjob so he could properly laugh. "For fuck's sake, Dan!"

"I was going to tell you another gay joke, butt fuck it," Dan chortled as he propped himself onto his elbows, watching his best friend giggle uncontrollably into the pillows. "Come on, Phil, get back on it. You looked so beautiful."

Phil looked up from the pillow, poking his tongue out from his smile and said, "I look beauti _phil_ , Dan."

That's when they both had to call it a night.

It was just some of the many absolutely _horrendous_ puns that they told each other over time in the bedroom, and honestly that's when they were at their funniest moments according to Dan. Dan would never thought that sex could sometimes be so damn funny – considering how straight sex was, he thought gay sex would be similar (he would soon learn that it had to do with the person, and that his previous girlfriends were just so damn _boring_ ).

But when he read that post about laughter and sex, he couldn't help but laugh at himself. He had plenty of things to laugh about, and he was sure they were only going to escalate from there in just how silly it all was.

"Hey, Phil," he said as he leaned from his sofa crease to show him the post, "Read this and tell me the first thing we did that comes to your mind."

* * *

Alright!

I hope this was funny and entertaining to read, and I'm sorry that it's not all that great. I had such funny visions in my head but it's so hard to translate that into words on a screen. Anyway, I at least hope you guys enjoyed it! Remember to send me prompts!

-Elena


	7. UPDATE

Hey guys! Just a quick update.

I haven't been getting much feedback on my fics, and I initially thought about discontinuing them until I realized that was pretty much a dead website at this point because everybody has moved to Archive of Our Own, including myself. However, that doesn't mean that these fics are done. I'm writing this to tell you guys that I'm editing and transferring these fics to Ao3! I'm thebaehood on there, too, and I'll hopefully have better feedback on my work there.

Thank you so much for allowing the opportunity to write here and I hope that these opportunities increase in Ao3!

-Elena


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